My high heels are killing me.. I love my heels.. but wearing it to work is a bad idea.. pain pain pain..
Anyways, working makes me realised what I don't like.. that's a good start at least.. I may not know what I want yet.. but at least I know what I don't..
People are like talking about how to earn big bucks.. get degrees for big bucks.. big bucks, big bucks.. Sorry, it's not getting into me at all.. I hate it.. but I guess for practicality sake.. money is necessary.. but can I earn it in a more meaningful way???
Ok.. I totally don't know why people are excited about making more money.. I'm simply not motivated at all.. I hate it when the conversation always revolves around money.. ok.. I'm so not used to this.. I think I hate the 'status' people give to money but I don't mind having more myself.. It's not that I don't want to work hard but I don't see the need to slog for money.. money can just come along the way as I work.. but to find ways to earn more money everyday?! To change jobs just to get better pay?!
Ok.. I think I'm in trouble now.. I think probably I'm not seeing something in the right perspective.. or perhaps seeing them in just one perspective.. perhaps I should be less judgemental about many new things that I just got in contact with.. haha..
I really need to get out of my comfort zone and mix with people whose '2nd home' is like the company.. but I have no intention to make that place my '2nd home' and I feel it's a waste of time to socialise and know a lot of people.. but I guess we all need to build good relationships to get the jobs well done.. I guess I'm a bit confused about how to relate with these people and what is expected of me.. I'm trying to fit in the right way, I guess..
I don't mind if they just give me work to do and leave me alone to do it.. but I think what makes me feel weird is when we go for group gathering and I'm feel obliged to somehow fit in to their 'culture', understand their inside jokes and laugh, and talk what they are interested about.. If I don't enjoy it - I'll naturally give the 'sian' look.. but I mean no harm but according to 'survey' people usually understand it differently, usually negatively.. So I feel super doom.. so everytime when I see them I need to smile, smile.. err.. smile.. If I were to be natural, I'll make people feel that I'm cold and sort..
Ok.. I think I'm in trouble (again!).. so self-centered.. It's 'I, Me, Myself'.. *sob sob*..
"Ok.. admitted it.. you are just lazy and can't be bothered to mix around with people."
"Yes, that's pretty true.. and all the more when I feel we have totally different agendas on our mind."
So I'm still trying to figure out some common grounds.. but I guess it'll be alright.. I'll always need sometime to figure out my 'place' in the environment.. and after that.. I'll start exploiting my rights as much as I can.. haha..
Perhaps it's just the 2nd day only.. I may just enjoy the work and find my interest in something somehow along the way.. I'm in the property assets managment/investment sort of department.. I've no idea why I'm there but I'm there.. how I wish I were in Marketing or HR kinda department..
I'm praying for God to speak to me where I should go, to close 'wrong' doors and open up doors to the right direction :)
Anyways, working makes me realised what I don't like.. that's a good start at least.. I may not know what I want yet.. but at least I know what I don't..
People are like talking about how to earn big bucks.. get degrees for big bucks.. big bucks, big bucks.. Sorry, it's not getting into me at all.. I hate it.. but I guess for practicality sake.. money is necessary.. but can I earn it in a more meaningful way???
Ok.. I totally don't know why people are excited about making more money.. I'm simply not motivated at all.. I hate it when the conversation always revolves around money.. ok.. I'm so not used to this.. I think I hate the 'status' people give to money but I don't mind having more myself.. It's not that I don't want to work hard but I don't see the need to slog for money.. money can just come along the way as I work.. but to find ways to earn more money everyday?! To change jobs just to get better pay?!
Ok.. I think I'm in trouble now.. I think probably I'm not seeing something in the right perspective.. or perhaps seeing them in just one perspective.. perhaps I should be less judgemental about many new things that I just got in contact with.. haha..
I really need to get out of my comfort zone and mix with people whose '2nd home' is like the company.. but I have no intention to make that place my '2nd home' and I feel it's a waste of time to socialise and know a lot of people.. but I guess we all need to build good relationships to get the jobs well done.. I guess I'm a bit confused about how to relate with these people and what is expected of me.. I'm trying to fit in the right way, I guess..
I don't mind if they just give me work to do and leave me alone to do it.. but I think what makes me feel weird is when we go for group gathering and I'm feel obliged to somehow fit in to their 'culture', understand their inside jokes and laugh, and talk what they are interested about.. If I don't enjoy it - I'll naturally give the 'sian' look.. but I mean no harm but according to 'survey' people usually understand it differently, usually negatively.. So I feel super doom.. so everytime when I see them I need to smile, smile.. err.. smile.. If I were to be natural, I'll make people feel that I'm cold and sort..
Ok.. I think I'm in trouble (again!).. so self-centered.. It's 'I, Me, Myself'.. *sob sob*..
"Ok.. admitted it.. you are just lazy and can't be bothered to mix around with people."
"Yes, that's pretty true.. and all the more when I feel we have totally different agendas on our mind."
So I'm still trying to figure out some common grounds.. but I guess it'll be alright.. I'll always need sometime to figure out my 'place' in the environment.. and after that.. I'll start exploiting my rights as much as I can.. haha..
Perhaps it's just the 2nd day only.. I may just enjoy the work and find my interest in something somehow along the way.. I'm in the property assets managment/investment sort of department.. I've no idea why I'm there but I'm there.. how I wish I were in Marketing or HR kinda department..
I'm praying for God to speak to me where I should go, to close 'wrong' doors and open up doors to the right direction :)
